"The Boy Next Door"

"The moment I saw him smile, I knew he was just my style,

My only regret is we've never met,

Though I dream of him all the while....

But he doesn't know I exist, no matter how I may persist,

So it's clear to see there's no hope for me...

How can I ignore the boy next door...."

Hugh Martin & Ralph Blane, Meet Me In St. Louis, 1944

My next encounter with love was completely unexpected and then completely unrequited. It was upon my first day of high school, August 2001. My first class of the day was chorus, which, at that time was definitely my thing. As per usual, the ratio of women to men in a public school choir was about 18 to 1, there were 3 guys and almost 30 girls. I walked in, selected my seat in the back section of the sopranos, and scanned the class once over to see who I might recognize.

And there he was.

Sitting in between two other guys in the middle of the group, this one sported a simple smile, brown unruly tossed hair and a wrinkly polo shirt.

I was smitten.

Later, I learned, his name was Brian, and he was a baritone. He was, and still is, in fact, one of the nicest and most genuine people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. He didn’t say much, but when he did, it sounded like the gospel.

I, much to my dismay, am often a woman of many words. Most often too many words. But around Brian, I was speechless. Let us not forget, however, that it was 2001 and on the cusp of the digital age. I didn’t have to talk to him in person! There was the perfect solution: Instant Messenger.

I do not recall how I managed to obtain Brian’s screenname, BBBBB74123, but I am quite stealthy when I want to be. I started an online dialogue with him, and his greeting was always, “howdy”. I died every time.

Through Instant Messenger, I was able to talk about and ask all the things I so desperately wanted to in person, but was too stumped to do so. We would talk for hours, and at the end I would practically have to wipe the drool off of my keyboard. I learned that he loved sailing, he played the bass (I have learned through the years that I am coincidentally drawn to bass players. No logical explanation exists.) and lived in North Raleigh among other things. These dialogues went on for months.

And then he met Rachel Slagle. Boo.

They dated for awhile. He was so into her, and it was so obvious, and it was so painful for me to watch. That affair ended right as auditions for the Enloe High School spring musical occurred. Our teacher had selected “Pirates of Penzance”, and everyone that I was friends with was auditioning. My voice teacher at the time told me I was a shoe-in, and I had a great audition and a very promising call back.

I was cut. I was devastated. Brian, being a male, had of course been cast, along with what felt like THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE. While I watched all my friends scurry off to the auditorium after the 8^th period dismissal bell for rehearsal I staggered to the bus, alone. While they spent their afternoons tantarah-ing I spent mine at home, petting my puppy on the couch and yearning.

During this time, of course, this little slutbag in the chorus of the play had wooed Brian, but I maintained it was ONLY because they were spending every afternoon together. It was ME who had long, in depth IM conversations with him, it was ME who had this digital connection!! If I had been in those rehearsals, I thought, it would be ME doing the wooing!!

They “went out” for a grand total of three weeks. After the play ended, their affair ended with it, and I couldn’t have been more pleased.

Eventually, I moved on from Brian, but to this day he still holds a soft spot in my heart. He plays bass in a band based out of Nashville now, and I’ve been able to meet up with him both in New York and at home.

This anecdote does have a happy ending, actually, as I did get my moment with Brian. It’s almost disgusting. Have your trashcan ready.

Junior year, I was up for the Junior Prom Princess (I know, I know, gross.) Since I am a ridiculous human being, farthest from “simple” and “boring” as you could possibly get, my best friend and I decided to go to prom together dressed as Disney’s Cinderella and Prince Charming. I mean, like, to a t. We could have gone on the grounds of Disney World and taken pictures and signed autographs. We thought it was hilarious.

As it turns out, I actually won the title. I was shocked…..and of course thrilled. This was suburban high school heaven for me. And who do you think was elected my Junior Prom Prince?

Brian. You may turn to your trashcan now.

I got to have a dance with him all alone on the dance floor, and it was absolutely heavenly. At this time, I wasn’t nearly as in love with him as I had been 2 years earlier, but Freshman Year Sara was completely fulfilled.